Tag: Humour

Hyperia Jones and the Olive Branch Caper

Posted October 22, 2020

Hyperia Jones

The Hype is real!
Hyperia Jones is at the top of her game, and she knows it. By day, a glamorous pro-rasseler who dominates the TwistCube world of FIRE–the Federation of Interstellar Rassling Entertainment. By night, the daring, resourceful, and entirely unscrupulous Tekuani, master thief.
But when the law catches up with her unexpectedly, she’s forced to accept a dangerous mission working for the very people who’ve been trying to catch her for years, and steal evidence against a powerful drug smuggling operation that reaches deep into the elite levels of Seventeen Realms society.
Now it’s a battle on all fronts. Hyperia must put everything on the line and decide what means the most to her: the lives of her fellow rasslers or her freedom.
Get in on the action in this fun, first-in-a-series sci-fi adventure.

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Off to See the Wizard by Clay Johnson

Posted September 28, 2016

At the end of most heroic quests, after a plucky band of heroes has averted the apocalypse, all is well, and everyone lives happily ever after… (until the next book in the series.) Now, for the first time, readers get an in depth look into what really happens after the quest. This is the collected case file of the Grand Inquisitor’s investigation into the Misery Reach debacle. Read first hand as the participants try to explain their actions and make their case. Did the Demon Lord Krevassius really try to end the world just to impress a girl? Would everyone be better off if the Wizard Galbraith hadn’t invented a quest in order to stave off criticism? And what about an elf queen peeing on a Minotaur? A swordsman’s losing battle with a young raccoon? And the transvestite assassin with a heart of gold?

[goodreviews isbn=”B01BQGGGEK” buyinfo=”off” bookinfo=”off”]

 


The Worst Man on Mars by Mark Roman & Corben Duke

Posted September 12, 2016

Hero. Legend. Role model. He is none of those. Flint Dugdale, blunt Yorkshireman and reality TV show winner, seems an unlikely contender for First Man on Mars. The Right Stuff he is not. But the tragic death of the mission’s brave commander has created a vacancy which Dugdale, with his large frame and ‘persuasive personality’, has been quick to fill. He has put himself in charge of Britain’s first group of colonists to the Red Planet.

With a place in History assured, Dugdale plans to see out the rest of the mission drinking lager, eating pies and watching his favourite sports on wide-screen TV.But all is not well on the Martian surface. For five years an advance party of robots with evolving AI personalities have been building Botany Base. They are a long way behind schedule and have made some crucial dimensioning errors. So the base’s rooms are too small, the doors don’t fit, and the lift-shaft is too narrow for the space elevator that is to bring the humans down from their spaceship. Worse, the food supplies sent from Earth have mysteriously gone missing, the drinking-water is muddy, and the Polish builder bots have gone AWOL.

On the eve of the descent to the surface, Dugdale knows nothing of these problems. And he is also unaware that the ship’s scanners have detected living organisms two miles north of the base.It seems there is Life down there. But will it be pleased to see him?

[goodreviews isbn=”B01LDRSEQU” buyinfo=”off” bookinfo=”off”]


Ancillary Take Off by Ayn Lucky

Posted December 2, 2015

Women had eliminated war, crimes of violence, and patriarchal oppression, not through the manipulation of pronouns, but through genetic manipulation and the elimination of the male gender. Now a message from the long forgotten Martian colony threatened the return of males to Earth. Scotti, an emotionally troubled engineer, and Athena, an illegal AI, must repel the Martian fleet to save the world from men.

Amazon reviews

[goodreviews isbn=”B015QTD3TO” buyinfo=”off” bookinfo=”off”]


Author Interview: Panda Johnson

Posted November 24, 2015

robertBorn in the East End of London during the late 1960’s, to a fairly typical London family of that period. Yes, within the sound of Bow Bells, so yes I am authentic Cockney, though now living in Cornwall it is not somewhere that I miss, after all who wouldn’t swap the traffic hewn streets for the cold wintered coast?
Age is not a kind companion, for 13 years (Since I was 35) I have suffered from Reiters Disease. This is a form of Arthritis, and for the last 5 to 6 years, from IBS as well.
I never let them get the better of me though; I have a dog, a Collie, Jess. She is the scattiest 7 year old dog I have ever seen and as loyal as you could wish for.
I am an avid record collector, though this is something that my dear wife would argue with… I am also an avid archer and air rifle enthusiast, plus I love my dirt/pit bike. Though, all of these are things that have to be done in moderation, pain allowing so to speak.



1) When did you first discover your love for writing?

I remember writing my first story when I was very young, I had this great big red book that I kept everything in, lists of records I wanted, music I loved, pictures that I drew and stories that I wrote. It was awful, three pages long and no grammar at all. But then I was only about seven so I don’t put too much credence on that. I really got into writing about twelve years ago, I was working the late shift at a Royal Mail sorting depot and had lots of free time in the mornings. I could not afford a PC or Word Processor at the time so the entire story was written long hand in small notebooks purchased from my local WHSmith.

It was a hard, hard process and ultimately the book was never finished. The idea was good, solid but it lacked the grammar and detail that was needed. I put the notebooks away and forgot about them. A few years later in the middle of my divorce the notebooks resurfaced. After reading through them I knew it was no good and threw them all away. There was nothing new for a years, then in early 2014 I found myself once more with the time to indulge myself. I went back to College, did a refresher course on writing and grammar and started anew. Though this time the book was totally different and far better than anything I had ever attempted before. The love of writing has always been in me, but it’s only now that I have time and confidence to put my work out there for the world to see.

2) Do you have a favourite place to write?

I love to write sat in a café by the sea, though this is much harder than it sounds. Living in Cornwall the sea is never far away but there are not many café’s with a sea view, and the ones that are don’t much like you sitting there all day drinking their free refill coffee. It’s not so bad during the winter as there are not that many tourists, but during the summer the coast is flooded with people and it’s not an environment that is easy to relax and write in. So I tend to most of my writing sat in the armchair at home with my headphones on.

3) Do you have a writing routine or process that you adhere to?

As I also work twenty-five hours a week it’s hard to have a routine, you what it’s like. You set a routine out, either on paper on in your head and then life happens and the whole routine goes to pot. But I try and write everyday, whether its on my book, my blogs or just ideas, I write. I think maybe that’s one reason I have not yet suffered from the dreaded writer’s block. It keeps my mind active and the ideas flowing.

4) Are there any authors or specific books you aspire to?

I think a lot of people know who my favourite Authors are, if not then have a look at the website they are listed there (yes that’s a blatant plug!). In all seriousness Douglas Adams and James Herbert are two that I read as a teen and have stuck with me until their deaths and beyond. I know they are both different, but they produced work that spoke to me. If I can do that to just one person, then I am a very happy Author.

5) What inspired you to write The Monuments of Panda Johnson?

I knew I wanted to write, as you have already seen I have tried before, but this time I had a plan, the name of the mainPanda Johnson protagonist, don’t ask me where it came from. I was thinking of the names used by Adams in HHGTTG, I wanted it to be unique, memorable but not too unpronounceable. The surname came first, and then the first name, just literally popped into my head. I had the basics of the story in my head and once I had that, well I was off and running with it.

6) Can you tell us a little about your book?

That’s like asking someone to describe a Monty Python sketch in Dutch when they have never spoken a word of it. However, it is the first part of a trilogy involving six main protagonists. Panda being the main and lead character, they are opposed through their adventures and travels by a Dark Queen and her husband. There are lots of twists and turns, dozens of side characters not to mention sub plots. There are parts when even the Editor and staff get involved. If you want to know then you will have to read it.

7) Do you have a favourite amongst all your characters?

I knew that you were going to ask that lol. I love Bambii due to her uniqueness, I also adore Lord Overworn because of his lacklustre nature and basic failure as an evil deity to be. But I cannot really separate them, all of the characters have the same level of adoration. After all I invented them and to show one more favouritism than the other would be rather unfair.
Now if you had asked do I have one that I don’t like then I would have immediately said Oareo the dog…

8) Does your book contain a message for readers to consider?

Only insomuch as life is short, never take it too seriously. Have fun, let your mind run free and see what worlds are inside your own mind, you will amazed at can happen.

9) Would you be interested in sharing a teaser?

Yes of course.

“That’s it; you all just run amuck why don’t you?” Oareo was letting his temper get the better of him. After all, this was his kitchen and he had rights!
“O.M.G,” screeched Dang like a small girl discovering dolls for the first time, “They have Mongolian Beach Duck, and it’s crispy too.” Dang looked as if he may pass out from sheer over excitement.
Misty watched him, her brow furrowed. “When I was still a Monk for Ohm, this food was on the banned list and if found even in possession of a menu with it on, you risked the act of Derision by Gul.”
Misty shook her head totally unimpressed, “I don’t think I’d be too bothered if a Gull was mocking me.” Her now loose glasses slipped a little more.
Dang sighed, muttering to himself, “And people wonder why I sleep so much?” Then in a louder voice, “Not Gull as in seagull you over chested woman, Gul single L, he was an 8’7″ Severn armed Demon from the 5th dimension, hardly a white and brown stain on your car windscreen.”

10) What would say has been your biggest challenge and achievement in writing The Monuments of Panda Johnson?

The writing part is simple, it’s everything else that is a challenge. When I first decided to be Independent I did foresee the complexity of the other aspects of the book. Editing is first and foremost. Plot and character consistency are the hardest and biggest challenges. After that comes cover design, promoting, setting up your own business. The list is endless.
I could have gone with time, I think a lot of Authors would have said that and as I have already mentioned it is hard at times to fit it all in. But when you have something to write you find the time, even if you’re falling asleep with your fingers on the keyboard at two am.

11) What have you learned about yourself as a writer through writing The Monuments of Panda Johnson?

That I am capable, that I am better than I thought and that my work has a place. I feel that I have achieved something I never thought I would. I have learnt how to tell a story, a good story in my own unique way. Not only that but this is something I will not be giving up.

12) Do you have any advice for other aspiring authors?

Do not give up, write the book. Leave it a month once you have finished, then go back and read it. If you have an Editor use them, listen to their advice. If you don’t make sure you work on that book over and over. There will always be things that you think could have been better, or you may want to change. But don’t change for changes sake.

13) Anything else you would like to say?

You mean other than but the book, it’s fantastic. No, not really.

14) And finally, do you have any future works planned?

Oh yes, I am currently around 40,000 words into book two, Panda Johnson and the Death of the Gods, book three will be here late 2017, Panda Johnson and the Child of a Thousand Mothers. After that, well I have a number of projects. One is a supernatural thriller, no comedy in that one I can assure you. The other is about a Victorian detective stuck in time and wakes up in 1979. Though that one still has a lot of planning to do. There are also at least eight other Panda Johnson related books in the pipeline so I think I will be busy for quite some time to come.


Twitter.com/PandaJohnson14
https://www.facebook.com/ThePandaJohnson/
thePandaJohnson.co.uk
http://pandajohnsonsjournal.blogspot.co.uk/


Bear Trapped by Eve Hunter

Posted November 11, 2015

For journalist Ada Hastings, it’s supposed to be a lazy two-week summer break on the Coromandel Peninsula in New Zealand. No deadlines, no complications, no men; in fact, nothing riskier than a hangover. But a casual walk in the bush takes her holiday from carefree to chilling when she discovers a bear bathing under a waterfall—a frightening impossibility in a country that has no bears at all outside of zoos.
Ranger Sachs-Severin combines his high-flying life as a hedge fund manager with covert missions for Bear Force, a group of shapeshifters fighting bear abuse. The waterfall at his remote coastal property is the last place he expects to see anyone, so he’s stunned when his bear insists the tall, curvy woman who has literally fainted at his feet is their mate.
Ranger must convince a shocked Ada that bear shifters are real—and nothing to be alarmed about. The scorching chemistry between them is undeniable, however, igniting Ada’s senses and forcing Ranger to believe that fated mates do exist.
But they aren’t prepared for the way her past collides with his present, and Ranger is devastated to discover that a mission he must accept means risking losing Ada forever.

[goodreviews isbn=”B0139IAPY0″ buyinfo=”off” bookinfo=”off”]


Language in the blood by Angela Lockwood

Posted November 7, 2015

Until the outbreak of the First World War, young Cameron Blair would have liked nothing better than to stay in Edinburgh and marry his childhood sweetheart. As the call to arms goes out, Cameron and his pals sign up to fight for their country. They are soon delivered into the nightmare of war, and there Cameron more than meets his maker.

The story follows Cameron as he comes to terms with his new ‘life’, from his first days as a hapless vampire in war-torn France to the glamorous modern day setting of the Côte d’Azur. Along the way, he develops a distinctive taste for the finer things in life: jewels, yachts, small dogs and champagne-infused human…


[goodreviews isbn=”B00EMEN1P6″ buyinfo=”off” bookinfo=”off”]



The Defeatist by Sophie Bowns

Posted November 5, 2015

Sometimes you don’t realise the mess you’ve made until you hit rock bottom. My life is a car crash, and the only person I can blame is myself. I was the reason that my parents broke up, and I ruined my own chances of happiness. I’m not proud of what I’ve done, and worst of all I hate the person I’ve become. My name is Jude Reed, and when I arrived, I was helpless and alone.
Then I met Tiffany and everything changed.

[goodreviews isbn=”B00WEIF1ZK” buyinfo=”off” bookinfo=”off”]


Radio Sphere by Devin terSteeg

Posted October 10, 2015

If you can hear me then you must be alive. You’re alive, right? That’s good. Good. Good for me. There aren’t many of us left. The water is looking at me again.

The blue in the sky burnt away and now it’s all brown, everything is brown, past, present, and future. I don’t know what I’m going to do. If only Grandpa were here to help. I think I could get along better with a friend. You’ll be my friend, right? Just us, in this whole big world. We can do it together.

A wonderful and surprising novella, “Radio Sphere” reveals a shy, maladjusted girl into the leader she must become amidst the dying, surreal landscape of Earth modified by a deranged alien.

[goodreviews isbn=”0692489444″ buyinfo=”off” bookinfo=”off”]


The Monuments of Panda Johnson

Posted July 7, 2015

The Monuments of Panda Johnson

The Monuments of Panda Johnson isn’t my usual sort of science fiction book – it’s a comedy for starters – and anyone who knows me knows I have absolutely zero sense of humour (well, according to the husband I don’t anyway). So, the Monuments of Panda Johnson begins with a nice little prologue setting out the scene, and it’s certainly an interesting premise.

Panda lives on the one hundred and fifty-third floor of a building that reaches up through the stratosphere. He’s got a job in a burger bar and besides attending a meeting on a Tuesday, has no need to ever leave the orbit high he lives in, although a quick look at the synopsis would suggest otherwise.

As with the other books I’ve listed on here, I’ve only really read the first couple of pages, but I love the writing style of Panda Johnson. I love the image of the orbit highs (versus the decay of the lower levels) and cannot wait to see what misadventures he gets into with his alien friends.

[goodreviews isbn=”B00ZY5L33Y” buyinfo=”off” bookinfo=”off”]


Dead Medium

Posted June 17, 2015

“The Strangest Things Happen When You’re Dead.” – May Elizabeth Trump.

First Impressions

Penned as ‘Not your average ghost story,’ I would have to say I agree. It is like nothing of this genre that I’ve read before and I found myself getting sucked into the first chapter. I couldn’t help but like the cantankerous May Elizabeth Trump and some of her lines were hilarious.

I’ve seen ‘Dead Medium’ being advertised around Twitter for a while now, so it was an absolute pleasure to finally find the time to check out the first chapter (and add it to my Goodreads ‘want to read’ list. The writing is of a high standard, the voice brings the character of May to life with the promise of an engaging and hilarious read.

20/6: I read the whole of chapter one to assess it. Read chapter two because I was curious about its direction, and now I’m partway through chapter three (and running out of sample %) so it looks like I’m going to have to buy it…

[goodreviews isbn=”B00B000O8C” buyinfo=”off” bookinfo=”off”]

 


Nick Slick, Private Dick: A Twisted Tale of Smokin’ Hot Zombie Noir Gone Mad… by Jameson Tucker

Posted April 18, 2015

What do you do when walking-dead prostitutes are taking over the streets of the city? If you’re Nick Slick, you pop a used breath mint in your mouth and spring into some kind of action.

It all starts out innocently enough: After a seemingly lost night on the seedy side of town, our libidinous hero wakes up by an overstuffed Dumpster in a nameless back-alley behind a nameless watering hole of a bar, an equally gamey vintage working gal by his side. But when his trash-side companion is promptly snatched up by someone or something unknown, and right under his nose no less, private investigator Nick Slick is on the case, on it like a cop on a donut, despite his endlessly unending hangover-from-hell. Said “case,” however, promptly becomes messier than a fudgesicle in July, what with duplicitous docs and dirty cops and dirtier bad girls crawling out of the proverbial woodwork seemingly at every turn; that, and an increasingly voracious gaggle of walking-dead street girls who seem to want nothing more than to have our hapless P.I. for lunch. Some days, it seems, it just doesn’t pay to raise yourself up out of the garbage.

[goodreviews isbn=”B00V5IEB4W” buyinfo=”off” bookinfo=”off”]